Each time I hear someone say to me (or someone else) “you just need balance” it makes me want to jab myself in the eye with a ballpoint pen.
According to Merriam-Webster’s Online dictionary, the definition of balance is “stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis.”
Hmm … “even distribution …”
So, let me get this straight: I need to balance (give “even distribution”) to being a wife, a mom, a business person, an educator, a writer, a blogger, a housekeeper and a pet caretaker? Not to mention, I need to balance in the time to eat right, be healthy, and exercise?
And, let’s face it, that’s a very basic list of things each one of us
does tries to do daily.What about factoring in school activities and after school activities and kid and relative birthday parties and gatherings and church and volunteering and being a total sexy kitten for my husband? (You know, just to name a few other things.)
Don’t even get me started about taking “me” time or spending time with my friends.
You see where I’m going with this?
Is Balance Possible?
That “balance” that everyone tells you about all the time, you know, the thing that you’re supposed to achieve? It’s really just a crock of shit. In the world we live in today, it doesn’t exist. So, I’m here to release you from striving for something you will never get because there will never be balance in your life, so just let it go right now.
The Balance Myth Infographic
I love visuals, don’t you? Let’s take a look at a little visual.
If you took 21 of the priorities that I listed above and squish them into a “balanced” day, this is what it would look like:
Take note that this is hitting the ground running when you wake up and going until you fall into bed at night. I didn’t even plan in meal times, shower/bathroom times or time to watch your favorite “Real Housewives” episodes, but you get the point. Sure this is an extreme (and somewhat tongue-in-cheek) example, but I hope you see where I’m going. It’s just not possible to “balance” out our day, every single day. It’s just … not. So, stop trying.
But, if you don’t strive for “balance” then what do you do? (I know some of you are panicking out there.)
Choose 5 Daily Priorities … and Let the Rest Go
Look, I’m not saying that you should just live in chaos all the time (and I know that many of us feel that way). What I am saying is that you choose what is most important to you.
Go on, sit down right now and make a priority list of the top five things (no more than five because you’ll send yourself into a stress-induced coma) that you want to focus on every day and, be prepared, something is going to fall through the cracks … but that’s okay. Then, do the same exercise with the top five weekly things. In a couple of months, you can revisit and adapt/change the list as your life grows and changes.
Pick Your Battles and Be At Peace With It
Here’s the truth, unless you have the money to pay someone to clean your house (for example), it’s probably going to be in some disarray while you focus on building your blog into a business or homeschooling your kids. The real trick is becoming okay with it.
My house is always in some form of “lived-in” mess–dog hair, toys everywhere, dishes in the sink (yes, even though we have a dishwasher) and on and on. I remember the first time I had an online friend over and my house looked like this my husband was in shock. I just shrugged. It wasn’t that important to me and it doesn’t fit into the priorities right now. I’m watching my businesses grow by leaps and bounds and working on a couple of books and heading up a non-profit and spending “in between” time taking my four year old to zoos and museums. THOSE things are important. Dishes in my sink? Not so much. Does it stress me out sometimes? Sure, but not as much as it used to since I let go of that “I can do everything perfectly with balance” BS.
Give yourself permission today, right now, to stop striving for that balance perfection. I think you’ll be shocked at just how much more you accomplish.
Is turning your blog into a business on your Top 5 priority list? Get started today.